This came out of a recent coaching conversation I had this morning with a young women navigating a job search and in an overall period of transition, I’ve found myself here too, over and over again:
You’re in a season where the main thing just isn’t here yet (or you don’t feel like it is).
The job. The relationship. The clarity.
Something’s off, missing, not quite landing.
And it’s tempting to put everything on pause until that “main course” arrives.
But what if this is the moment to start setting the table?
What if this is the time to lay out the pieces of your life with intention—before the big thing shows up?
🧠 CORE INSIGHTS
• Sometimes it’s not about getting “that one thing”—it’s about getting your life ready to receive it.
• You can’t control what responds to your effort, but you can control where your energy goes in the meantime.
🍽️ SETTING THE TABLE.
This is the image I keep coming back to:
You’re setting the table for your life.
The “main course” for you might be a career.
For someone else, it might be clarity, healing, or a season of rest.
There’s no one right arrangement.
But here are a few starting points:
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🧣 TABLECLOTH → Your inner environment
The background that holds everything.
Spill a drink? Drop some food? The tablecloth catches it.
This is your inner world—your rhythm, your breath, your inner/spiritual practices that hold it all together.
🪵 THE TABLE → The scale of your life
Do you want a full banquet, or a quiet nook?
You choose how big or small your life feels. You choose the pace, the intimacy, the stretch.
This is the space you’re creating.
🪑 CHAIRS → The people you invite
Who do you want seated with you?
This could be your partner, your kids, close friends, mentors, parents, friends—or just yourself for now.
Not everyone needs a seat. Choose who you let close.
🔧 PLATES, SILVERWARE & GLASSES → Your tools and skills
These are what help you engage with your life.
• Silverware: the practical skills you use to “digest” what’s in front of you. Communication. Boundaries. Critical thinking.
• Plates: how you hold space for others. Emotional literacy. Empathy.
• Glasses: perspective. Your ability to see clearly, to reflect, to take in what nourishes you.
These tools don’t have to be fancy. They just need to be relevant.
Maybe you’re learning to cook. Or speak up. Or write. Or parent.
Whatever your life needs—those are your tools.
🥦 SIDES → Variety, movement, and nourishment
You can’t just eat the main dish.
Sides round things out. They bring nutrients and energy you wouldn’t otherwise get.
These are your hobbies, your walks, your playlists, your workouts, your favorite books.
They supplement your day and make it healthier—even if they’re not the center of your life.
They don’t have to be “productive”—just nourishing.
🥩 MAIN COURSE → Direction, calling, or desire
The thing you’re building toward.
Sometimes it’s obvious. Sometimes it’s still forming.
Either way: make space for it.
Even if it hasn’t shown up yet—set a place. Prepare for it. Trust that it’s coming.
🍰 DESSERT → Joy, pleasure, and little indulgences
Not everything in life needs to be a goal.
Sometimes joy is the point. Dessert doesn’t need to be the biggest part of the meal—but it deserves space.
Whether it’s your favorite snack, a late-night show, a spontaneous drive, or a glass of wine—let yourself enjoy small, sweet things.
Just be mindful not to let dessert become dinner. We all know how that ends…
—
And if something feels off—too many guests, not enough space, portions too big or too small—you get to rearrange.
You can always clear the table, reset it, invite new people, or switch up the menu.
This is your life.
Your pace.
Your rhythm.
Your table to set.
💬 One Small (practical) Side-note:
The difference between effort and control.
You can put in the work:
• Send the job application
• Start the conversation
• Apply the strategy
• Reach out to the person
But then…
You wait.
You release.
You let the 50% that isn’t yours take its course.
Here’s where a lot of us get stuck:
we do the hour of intentional work, but then we spend the next ten hours mentally holding onto it.
We check back. We refresh the inbox. We scroll the same job boards we already checked that morning.
We stay attached—not to the effort, but to the outcome.
You might spend an hour, maybe 90 minutes, applying to jobs. That’s good, focused effort. But after that? Let that be enough.
Let that be the application.
You don’t need to spend the rest of your day inside the search engine.
You don’t need to carry it around in your mind like a weight.
Put in the work.
And then put it down.
This isn’t just about job searches—it’s true for anything you’re building toward:
• A new skill
• A workout habit
• A creative project
• A relationship
You plant the seed with effort. But the growth? That part isn’t up to you.
It’s like building muscle:
You go to the gym. You train hard.
But it’s your body that handles the repair, the growth, the adaptation.
If you stayed in the gym all day trying to speed things up, you’d only wear yourself down.
It’s the same with most things in life.
You show up. You practice. You give it your best.
Then you let the forces beyond your control do what they need to do.
Your job is to return again tomorrow—not to hover all day hoping for faster results.
📝 JOURNAL PROMPTS
• What part of your “table” are you quietly setting right now?
• Where are you putting in effort—and where are you clinging to control?
• What could you return to each day or week that would help you stay grounded while things are still uncertain?
That’s all for now.
Sending peace from my side of the table.
—Tyler
P.S. Schedule is open for coaching calls this week, feel free to grab a spot: Schedule a time to talk