There’s a place for both. And in reality, most of us are doing some mix of the two.
Chasing gets painted as desperate. Attracting as passive. But the truth is: there’s a dark and a light side to both.
This isn’t about choosing one over the other. It’s about knowing where you are in the cycle, and how to move through it without burning out or giving up.
🌪️ THE INSECURITY BEHIND ATTRACTION
Attracting can feel elegant, spiritual, mature. But it also invites insecurity.
• Am I attractive enough?
• Am I good enough for what I want to come my way?
• And if nothing arrives… what does that mean?
That’s when the panic sets in. Maybe I’m not doing enough. Maybe I need to go get it. And just like that, the chase begins.
But if chasing isn’t grounded, it turns into striving. And if the striving never stops, you burn out.
Here’s the paradox:
The moment you stop grasping, the moment you release the pressure and say, “If it comes, it comes”, you actually become more magnetic. Because you’ve made space. Space to receive. Space to notice. Space to rest.
You can chase so hard that you forget to create space to hold the very thing you want.
🏃🏽♀️➡️ THE TRUTH ABOUT CHASING
Chasing isn’t bad. In fact, it’s sometimes the quickest way forward. If something is within your grasp, go for it.
But if it’s not? If you’re chasing and chasing and it’s still out of reach?
That might be a sign to shift from chasing to practicing.
• You might not have the relationship you want—so practice being loving.
• You might not have the opportunity you crave—so practice being hardworking.
• Your life might feel chaotic—so practice resolving the conflict within.
Over time, you stop chasing the thing and start becoming the essence of that thing.
Your energy changes.
And eventually, you realize: maybe what you’ve been chasing wasn’t that far away.
Maybe you just weren’t looking in the right direction.
Or maybe… you weren’t ready to hold it yet.
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🏃🏼♂️➡️ Chasing has a certain energy to it.
Chasing could be the wrong word to focus on entirely. It implies you’re running after something, and that something is running away from you.
The instinct of something being chased… is to flee. That’s survival.
And often, when we chase the things we want, we trigger that same instinct, whether it’s in people, opportunities, or even within ourselves.
So I don’t think the solution is to chase what we want.
Because that can incentivize what we want to keep its distance.
Instead, we have to practice.
We practice being someone who is moving toward what we want, not chasing it, not grasping at it, but becoming the kind of person who can meet it halfway.
We practice closing the distance.
We embody what we’re seeking.
And from that place, what we want is more likely to feel safe coming toward us.
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🐕 A Quick Story About My Dog:
My parents gave my wife and me a dog about 4 and half years ago. A stray puppy.
They found her wandering near the train tracks in a sketchy part of town. Just scared, skinny, lost.
They pulled over and tried to get her attention. My dad called out. Tried walking toward her. Even ran a little to catch up.
But every time he got close… she ran. Just far enough to stay out of reach. That was her instinct.
She didn’t know them. Didn’t trust them.
And chasing her only reinforced that she should run.
So they changed the approach.
They got back in the car, drove to McDonald’s, bought a burger and some fries. Then they came back, crouched low, and held out a handful of fries.
Slowly, the puppy inched forward. Sniffed the food.
Met them halfway. And let them bring her home.
Now she’s apart of the family, and has a full-time job chasing squirrels in the backyard.
You don’t always catch something by chasing it.
Sometimes if you meet it where it is, with what it needs, it walks right into your life.
🔄 THE CYCLE
Sometimes you're chasing.
Sometimes you're attracting.
Sometimes you're practicing both at the same time.
And all of it is okay.
• Chasing sharpens us.
• Attracting humbles us.
• Practice sustains us.
The goal isn't to pick one lane and stay there. The goal is to move between them with less friction and more grace.
You might already have pieces of what you’re chasing.
The task isn't always to get more, it’s to nurture what’s here.
To protect it. To let it expand and grow.
✍🏽 PRACTICE FOR TODAY
Where are you in the cycle? Choose one prompt and sit with it for a few minutes:
• What am I currently chasing, and is it still within reach?
• What would it look like to shift from chasing this to practicing something?
• Is there something I’m hoping to attract… that I haven’t made space for yet?
• How might I express more of what I want, without grasping for it?
Let this be your invitation to pause—not to stop moving, but to move differently.
With care,
Tyler